I have a problem with the Verizon DSL Commercial
Actually, I have many problems with the Verizon DSL commercial. I will list them here. I think you probably know which one I'm talking about, because it's an annoying testimonial, and it's been running for approximately a bajillion weeks now.
Anyways, my problems:
-The color scheme. Verizon uses it's trademark Colors of Evil - red and black. The background is red, the people are wearing red, or black, or red and black. The colors of blood and darkness portend a terrible future if you get Verizon's DSL.
-The cast. Older educated black professional man, young sophisticated gorgeous black female, vaguely blue-collar young attractive Italian-American or Latino male, pale 30something white guy who's vaguely concerned that his mousy wife is using the interweb to shop. (GWAH? Next she'll be VOTING. STOP HER.)
-The script. Young sophisticated gorgeous black female actually says, "Now Phish REALLY rocks." Um, has anyone at Verizon ever heard any Phish? They do not rock. And that is not a matter of opinion. It is a fact. Also, has anyone at Verizon ever seen the people who listen to Phish? They are not sophisticated, or gorgeous, and they're mostly not black. I know Verizon is challenging our racist assumptions, but come on. The only correct way to have this horrible piece of dialogue work would be to have a stubbly scruffy blonde hippie drooling out "Now Phish REALLY meanders for hours 'improvising' sort of like the Grateful Dead."
-The script again. Older black professional guy says, "I love using this thing now!" Um, he doesn't call it a computer? Or a laptop?
-The line readings. Older black professional guy has to sort of sing "Now I can get music like the rest of the world." I don't blame the actor because I think he chose to read the line straight and then some Verizon exec held a gun to the director's head who pleaded with the actor to please sacrifice all sense of logic and dignity.
-The theme song.
Anyways, my problems:
-The color scheme. Verizon uses it's trademark Colors of Evil - red and black. The background is red, the people are wearing red, or black, or red and black. The colors of blood and darkness portend a terrible future if you get Verizon's DSL.
-The cast. Older educated black professional man, young sophisticated gorgeous black female, vaguely blue-collar young attractive Italian-American or Latino male, pale 30something white guy who's vaguely concerned that his mousy wife is using the interweb to shop. (GWAH? Next she'll be VOTING. STOP HER.)
-The script. Young sophisticated gorgeous black female actually says, "Now Phish REALLY rocks." Um, has anyone at Verizon ever heard any Phish? They do not rock. And that is not a matter of opinion. It is a fact. Also, has anyone at Verizon ever seen the people who listen to Phish? They are not sophisticated, or gorgeous, and they're mostly not black. I know Verizon is challenging our racist assumptions, but come on. The only correct way to have this horrible piece of dialogue work would be to have a stubbly scruffy blonde hippie drooling out "Now Phish REALLY meanders for hours 'improvising' sort of like the Grateful Dead."
-The script again. Older black professional guy says, "I love using this thing now!" Um, he doesn't call it a computer? Or a laptop?
-The line readings. Older black professional guy has to sort of sing "Now I can get music like the rest of the world." I don't blame the actor because I think he chose to read the line straight and then some Verizon exec held a gun to the director's head who pleaded with the actor to please sacrifice all sense of logic and dignity.
-The theme song.
posted by walkinhomefromthethriftstore at 9:33 AM
2 Comments:
i have never seen this, but now i know, if it looks like i'm starting to see it, that i should flee. flee as if the hounds of hell were chasing me.
maybe with the red & black, verizon is just trying to invoke a little Marius-style french rebellion patriotism? or something?
How is it that no one's seen this but me? I swear it's on heavy rotation! And not just in Jersey!
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