Urgh, Shut UP! Or, Temping Continued.

So there was a week where the Large Nationally Known Temping Company didn't call me with any jobs. As much as I like not working, I actually do prefer to work, so I stepped up my cover-letter-writin', resume-submittin' game. I've been mostly focusing on Craigslist, cuz it's the cheapest and the best, imho, but I am registered with Careerbuilder, so I applied to a few on that. 

(Uploading a new resume on C.B. had the unfortunate side effect of re-alerting them to my presence. Despite me changing my address on the site, I now get daily email alerts and solications from employers in New Jersey. It's a hell of a commute.)

It seems that 85% of the jobs posted on C.B. are posted by temp companies. I applied to one job without really paying attention to who posted it, and the next day Small Indie Temp Company called me up. They asked how many tests I'd taken at Large Nationally Known Temping Company. I told them I'd taken a Word test and an Excel test, and the rep somewhat snottily said, 'Oh, I guess our competitors don't test as extensively as we do.' I said, 'No, but at least they have name recognition.' Despite my returned snottiness they invited me in to take their barrage of tests and interview with them.

I was actually a bit nervous about it all - they test Excel, Word, Powerpoint, Access, typing speed, spelling and arithmetic. I actually pulled up my Powerpoint for Mac before the interview and messed around a bit, and worried a tad over it. They also told me to plan to be there for three or four hours, and cautioned me not to use Google Maps to get to the office, because people who use Google Maps to get there get lost. I looked it up on Google Maps, and well, I think stupid people who use it get lost... I didn't have any problems tho'. 

When I got there they handed me the math'n'spelling test. It was not at all intimidating. The spelling test consisted of checking off words that were misspelled, and that was easy because I just looked for spellings I've seen on Craigslist. Redeculous, curoisity, excsept. The math was addition, subtraction, multiplication and long division. I haven't done long division since 8th grade but it wasn't too painful.

Then I got sent to the computer room to do the barrage of MS tests. Again, not that hard. You get 20 minutes for each test, and I finished each one in five or six minutes. Either you know the stuff or you don't. The Word test threw me because it was in Word 2007, and apparently they've done away with the menu options at the top toolbar in favor of pictures only. Whatevs. 

And then we got to the interviews... oh man. They made me take a Meyers-Briggs test. GROSS. I am not a fan. "On the weekend, do you prefer to: a) make a schedule of things to do, or b) do whatever seems fun at the time?" Um, depends on the weekend. "When solving a tricky problem, do you a) rely on your intuition to tell you what's right, or b) apply a logical, reasoned approach?" Um, depends on the problem. I finished it as fast as possible and tried to seem out-going, logical and spontaneous. I was laissez-faire because THE TEST IS MEANINGLESS. 

They treated it as gospel, tho'. The first chick who came in to interview me started explaining to me that I'm an ENTJ, and did that seem familiar to me. I was like, 'uhhhh, sure. Whatevz. Get to the part where you ask me where I'll be in five years.' So she did, and then she proceeded to talk about herself a lot. 

The second guy came in and was more bearable; he just checked my paper work and asked me what, if any, jobs I wouldn't do. No cold-calling please! Oh, and he did tell me how I did on the MS tests... and it turns out I only got 55% on the Word one, but it DOESN'T MATTER, because they know most people don't have the latest update; they just test it to see 'who's keeping up.' Lames. But anyway, he lulled me into a state of relaxation with his easy questions and not talking about himself. I was then ill-prepared for the last interviewer... the owner of the company.

Owner guy majorly pissed me off. Over the next HOUR, he proceeded to tell approximately fifty bad jokes, told me to try coming to my next interview sober, spoke to me in a bad russsian accent after reading that my emergency contact's name is Leonid, told me random stories about how he went to Falls Church High back when it was in Fall Church City and oh wow it's so tough to be old, told me I was a 'high E' on the Meyers-Briggs and that would really influence my placement, and told me I was a beautiful young woman. EW. I felt like pulling out the sexual harassment policy they made me sign and throwing it in front of him. I kept hoping for the interview to be over already but it just went on and on. He told me I was one of the smartest candidates to come in that year. I didn't say, "Wow, your bar is set pretty low then, seeing as all I did was spell at a fifth grade level and do some arithmetic." He just kept going on and on and on and on. I wanted to scream "Will you just please SHUT UP" but instead I had to be all, "Heh heh... yes. You, sir, are a card. Oh my. How amusing." Finally he was like, do you have any more questions? And I said no, and he said, "I wish I had another hour with you." Gross!

They better get me some work, cuz EW. 

Luckily afterwards I got to have a delightful lunch with Atomicate. And she bought me Tim Tams! The happiest cookie on earth! We also checked out the H'ween store. She thinks we should just get mascot heads, but I told her I'd rather be Sexy Darth Vader. (Plastic Darth Vader mask and a short skirt. Hell to the yeah!) It's a good thing I had funtymes with her after that grossness interview that is still grossing me out.