I Love Temping

Now that I've completed the paradigm shift, I'm ready to pursue employment. I have most recently pursued it by signing on with A Nationally Known Temporary Staffing Company. I had to take an Excel test and a Word test, and I did a little interview and said I would like to make many monies please but would just like to start working again, mostly, and they checked my references and that was that. 

One thing they did not check was my ability to walk in a straight line between orange cones, and yet that was what my first assignment called for. My Temp Handler called and was like, "Soooo, we have this half-day thing, and it's a liiiittle out of our scope... you'd be like, testing a new jacket for the military. Wanna do it?" Being a total whore for a few dollars more than minimum wage, I said okeydoke. She gave me the address - a Shriner's building. I said, 'is there like a company name I should look for in the building?' She said, "Oh, no, they'll be in the parking lot." Um, ok. 

So I showed up at said building's very large, rather secluded and fairly empty parking lot, and met the job contact, who was really tall and good looking, and he showed me to the temp tent, where a couple of other ladies were sitting around, bored. (This is a major component of temping, so I wasn't surprised.) I was given a document to read where I learned what the job really was - testing suicide bomber detection systems. I was to pose as a suicide bomber and walk between two suicide bomber testing stations wearing a fake bomb pack. HOW EFFIN' AWESOME. (True fact: they already have this technology overseas, but designed it to identify men wearing explosives, and increasingly women have been making suicide attacks. Hence the need for the test, so's they could re-calibrate the systems for the lady-style suicide bomber.)

What made it awesomer was the fact that the guys running the stations were all ex-Marines. They'd all done tours of Iraq, had survived, gotten out, and are now working as private defense contractors. But they still look like Marines. I.E., incredibly hottt. (And I don't use the three t 'hottt' lightly.) 

It took about two hours to complete the test - there were five of us temps, and we had to complete the walk five times (because there were four different jackets and once we walked without jackets.) It was so random and so easy and so cool. Alas, tomorrow I shall probably be temping in a more tempy (tempeh?) way, data entering addresses for some dumb company that does not create suicide bomber detection systems.